Listen to your instincts.
A Maven Mamas Q&A with Melaney Lubey
Can you tell us some random facts about you?
My favorite food is cheese - all cheese. From aged cheddar to Velveeta, I can appreciate it all.
I was pretty nerdy as a kid and went to Space Camp, not just, once- but twice.
I can recite all of the words to Too Short's "Don't Fight The Feeling" and have been able to since age 8 thanks to an older sister with an affinity for 80's rap.
Also…
I co-run a charitable giving platform called dailyKARMA that helps companies and individuals give back to their favorite nonprofits.
I have two small kids, Isaac - age 4 and Loretta (Lolly) - age 1
I was sworn into public service when I was 7 months pregnant with my youngest. I am an appointed member of the West Hollywood Women's Advisory Board.
What’s on your nightstand?
Two "One Line a Day" books, partially filled in for each kid, a few sets of white cotton gloves (thank you, breastfeeding/hormone-induced eczema), a journal, several books, random chapstick and a miscellaneous stuffed animal.
Favorite piece of wisdom that you’ve received as a mother?
From my sister: "With your first kid, you can't help but be a little crazy. Own it. It gets better." It helped me through a lot of those early worries.
What are you reading? I always have a few different books going on.
Hard Times Require Furious Dancing by Alice Walker
Siblings Without Rivalry by Adele Faber
The Politics of Breastfeeding by Gabrielle Palmer
The Pacific Alone by Dave Shively
What are you listening to (e.g., podcast, Spotify playlist)?
This is a little embarrassing. I should listen to more podcasts but during the day, I've been teetering between 90's nostalgia playlists, dancehall & jazz. It's also entirely possible that if my kids are home it's either Tom Petty, The Beatles or Elmo.
Your favorite place on earth?
In my bed, with both kids, our tiny dog, and my husband.
Tell us about your Wisdom in the Mama app?
I believe that the very act of listening to our instincts regarding parenting and giving a finger to the onlookers is a small, powerful, act of rebellion. It's radical. Parenting CAN be radical and transformative if you allow it to be. From the moment you find out you're pregnant, you quickly realize that EVERYONE has an opinion about EVERYTHING. But the thing is - you already know how to be a good mom. You don't need Instagram or a stranger or even your best friend to tell you what works. Why? Because the moment you become a mom, these amazing instincts start firing that help you to know exactly what your kids need. Everyone else is figuring it out as they go as they JUST as you are. Listen to that inner voice that's guiding you. She knows what's up and she knows you've got this. And if your inner voice is being mute, don't be afraid to reach out to your community—to those people that lift you up, that love you. That's what they are there for.
How do you make time for you?
I take myself to coffee once a week after daycare/preschool drop off. It's small but it's the most I can routinely commit to.
Do you believe in balance?
Only in the sense that it's a moving target—otherwise, no. I believe in juggling. We all have multiple priorities and the importance of those priorities shift based on the day and sometimes by the hour. All of the balls in the air (kids, full-time job, side hustles, activism, relationships, health, endless to-dos) each deserve to have their own space and require constant rearrangement to make it all work.
How are you contributing to the mama-universe? How do you empower mamas?
When I'm not focused on dailyKARMA, I'm busy with advocacy work. I am a maternal health activist - serving as Vice Chair of the West Hollywood Women's Advisory Board, organizing the Los Angeles March for Moms, and occasionally still working individually with families as a birth & postpartum doula.
Melaney Lubey is a radical mother, marketer, connector who is currently the VP of Marketing & Strategic Partnerships at dailyKARMA. Mel is passionate about maternal health & reproductive rights. Don’t be surprised if you find her taking time to literally stop and smell the roses.